Along the Right Lines
by starlightwalking
Summary: A trip to the store with his friend (and crush) Tauriel and her little daughter turns out to be a little more interesting than Kíli expected. ONESHOT. Gift to scene-88 on tumblr.


A gift to scene-88 on tumblr.

Inspired by riphaerry on tumblr.

* * *

 **Along the Right Lines**

* * *

" _This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold—"_

Kíli shoved one last Dorito into his mouth, chewing as fast as he could, and picked up his phone.

"God, Kíli, when are you going to change your ringtone?" his brother said from beside him. "That song isn't even on the radio anymore."

"Oh shut up, Fíli, it's a good song," he complained. "This is _my_ apartment, you know! If you don't like it, go somewhere else."

"What are you gonna do, kick me out? I live across the hall." Fíli snorted, his eyes still on the TV.

Kíli looked at who was calling and yelped. He quickly swallowed the last of the potato chips and hissed to Fíli, "Pause it! It's Tauriel!"

Fíli rolled his eyes. "Look, bro, just because your crush is calling you—"

"Just do it!"

Fíli sighed and paused the show. Kíli took a deep breath, composed himself, and answered the phone.

"Hello?" he said, trying to sound confident, but still fun and cool. Behind him, Fíli snorted. Kíli made a rude gesture to his brother, listening intently as the woman on the other end of the line spoke.

"Hey, Kíli!" Tauriel said. He smiled at the sound of her voice. "I'm running to the grocery store to pick up some stuff—maybe run a couple more errands—anyway, my sitter fell through."

Kíli nodded, then realized she couldn't see him. "Yeah?" Then he winced. He sounded pathetic.

"I was wondering—"

"Do you want me to babysit Ria?" he offered. Ria was Tauriel's daughter. Her father was Tauriel's ex-husband, Legolas, who lived in a different city. They shared custody of her, but while Legolas was a good father, he was very busy with his work and lived far away, and so most of the time Ria lived with her mother. After Kíli had met Tauriel, he had become friends with both her and her daughter, who was a sweet little six-year-old. He often spent time babysitting her while Tauriel was busy, as a favor to her.

"Well, actually," Tauriel said, "that's very kind of you, Kíli—"

 _She thinks I'm kind!_ Kíli beamed. He heard Fíli mock-retching in the background and turned to shoot a glare at him.

"—but I was thinking, maybe you could come with us? I'd like to take Ria out with me, but she's a little much to handle by myself, and—"

"Yeah, yeah! Totally!" Kíli exclaimed. "Yeah, I'll go! Right now? And—where?"

"Oh, thank you, Kíli!" Tauriel sounded relieved. Kíli could hear Ria in the background, though he couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying. "I mean, yeah. Meet me at Fred Meyer's in twenty minutes?"

"The one off 34th?" Kíli asked, already getting up to put his shoes on.

"Yeah," Tauriel confirmed. "Thanks again, Kíli! See you soon!"

"See you there!" he said, grinning like a maniac. She hung up, and he turned his phone off, holding it up in the air triumphantly.

Fíli was thoroughly unimpressed. Now sprawled across the whole couch, taking up Kíli's spot, too, he cocked one eyebrow at his brother. "You got a date, I presume?"

"Well—not really," Kíli admitted, lowering his hand and turning a little pink. "I'm going grocery shopping with Tauriel and Ria."

Fíli laughed. "Well. Have fun. I'm watching the rest of the episode without you."

Kíli shrugged. "You do that."

"I will." Fíli unpaused the show and looked away. "I'll let you back in when you get home."

"Whose apartment is this, anyway?" Kíli complained as he put on his shoes and jacket.

"Uncle's, technically," Fíli replied. "He pays most of the rent, remember?"

"Oh, shut up," Kíli said, but he was smiling.

* * *

Kíli got to Fred Meyer's right on time. Tauriel was nowhere to be sen. He checked the time several times, anxious. He'd gone to the right store, right? Was Tauriel late or—?

He relaxed as he saw her car pull into the parking lot. A few minutes later, she walked up to him with strawberry-blonde Ria holding her hand.

Kíli smiled at her. "Hey, Tauriel." He winked at her daughter. "Hi, Ria."

Ria ran up to him and hugged his legs. Kíli leaned down to hug her back. It was nice being taller than someone—usually he was the shortest around. He was certainly much shorter than Tauriel.

He stood back up and grabbed Ria's hand. He glanced at Tauriel. "So, what are we looking for today?"

As it turned out, what they were looking for was mostly vegetables. And a couple fruits. Tauriel liked to eat healthy.

"Come on, Ria," she called. "We're not getting cookies today."

"Aw, really?" Kíli said.

Tauriel laughed and shot him an amused look. "You're worse than she is!"

Ria, crestfallen, fell back in line. "Okay, Mom. But can we get some mangos?"

"Yes, mangos are good," Tauriel agreed. "Here, I'll grab some broccoli—why don't you go with Kíli to find some?"

"Come on, Kíli!" Ria exclaimed, racing off. Kíli ran after her.

"Wait!" he called out. "Ria, slow down!"

When he finally caught up to her, she had grabbed three mangos already and was trying to balance a fourth in her little six-year-old arms.

"Ria, be careful!" he scolded, taking the mangos away from her. "You could have dropped them! Now, why don't you help by grabbing me a bag. No—just one, Ria!"

After dumping the mangos in the bag—did Tauriel really want this many?—he helped her tie it up with a twist-tie. There was a soft chuckle behind him. He turned around to see an old man smiling at him.

"Hello, Kíli," the man said. "It's been a while."

He squinted at the man. "...Balin?" he said, surprised.

Balin nodded. "Yes! I'm glad you remember me. The last time I saw you...goodness, it must have been eight years ago, at the last Durin Family Reunion! You were fresh out of high school then. Now look at you!"

"I didn't know you were in town, Balin," Kíli said awkwardly. Balin was some sort of third cousin or something, a distant relative.

"I'm visiting your Uncle Thorin," Balin explained. "I needed to stop here for some groceries."

Kíli felt Ria tug on his sleeve. While he'd been talking, she'd found a king-sized Hershey's bar. Now she looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

"I...no, Ria," he said. "Put that back. Your mother wouldn't want you to have it."

"Oh, hello," Balin said, waving at her. He smiled at Kíli. "What a sweet little girl. How old is she?"

"I'm six!" Ria said proudly.

"Yes, you are," Kíli agreed. "Now run along, Ria—put that back."

Ria sighed and walked off, drooping in disappointment.

"She's very cute," Balin said. "I'm glad to see you so responsible and grown up, Kíli!"

"Uhhh...yeah," Kíli agreed, a little confused as to what he meant. He saw Tauriel walking up to him and he stood up a little straighter. "Well, it was nice talking to you, Balin! I'll see you later."

"Goodbye, Kíli," Balin said. Kíli quickly gathered up the mangos and beckoned Ria over. He grabbed her hand and made his way over to Tauriel. He glanced over and saw Balin still watching him, a strange sort of sappy smile on the old man's face.

"I'm almost ready to go," Tauriel said, and Kíli's attention snapped back to her. "Oh good—put those mangos in the cart. That's an awful lot."

"Uh...Ria wanted a lot...?" Kíli offered awkwardly. Crap. He should have gotten less...

Tauriel smiled at him. "Well, we'll have enough for a while, then."

* * *

Kíli got home an hour or so later. He knocked on his door. "Fíli? You still here?"

"Just a minute," his brother called.

"You know, I have a key," Kíli said, fishing for the key in his pocket.

The door unlocked and Fíli opened it. In his free hand dangled Kíli's key. "You left it, actually."

"Oh." Kíli walked inside.

"How was your date?" Fíli asked, closing the door. He went over to the fridge and pulled out a Coke.

"I went to the grocery store with my crush and her child," Kíli said, taking off his shoes. "I wouldn't exactly call that a date."

Fíli shrugged. "Okay, whatever. How did your grocery trip go?"

"Fine." Kíli flopped down on the couch. "I ran into someone, actually."

"Who?"

"Balin."

"...Who?"

"Some old guy. He's like, a third cousin or something." Kíli looked at Fíli's Coke enviously. If he weren't so lazy, he'd get up and get one for himself. "He said he was visiting Uncle."

"Huh." Fíli took a long drink, then smacked his lips loudly. "Well, I'm going back to my apartment now. I have stuff to do."

"Have fun," Kíli said as his brother got up.

"Knock if you need anything," Fíli said.

"I can take care of myself, Fíli," he complained.

Fíli looked at him pointedly. "You left your apartment key at home when you went grocery shopping. I think you can stand for some looking after."

Kíli blew a raspberry. "Alright, fine, I'll keep that in mind."

"Bye," Fíli said, walking out the door.

"Bye," Kíli said, turning away as his brother closed the door.

He got himself a Coke of his own, then got out his laptop and decided to waste his time online for the next hour or so. After a little while of watching cat videos on YouTube and scrolling through his favorite social media websites, he opened up his Facebook page.

Nothing really interesting, he thought as he scrolled along, not thinking about much. Out of curiosity he found Balin's Facebook. Maybe he'd find out why he was in town, other than visiting Uncle Thorin.

He saw Balin's most recent post and nearly spat out a mouthful of Coke on his laptop. "Oh my God—crap—!"

 _saw_ _ **Kíli Durin**_ _at the grocery store today with his little girl and sweet wife. I had no idea he was even married, but I'm glad to see him all grown up!_

Kíli could feel himself blushing. No, no, no, no—what if Tauriel saw this? Oh my God, he couldn't believe...Balin _couldn't_...why had this happened?! He had to respond, to correct Balin...this was horrible!

A few people had seen the post—Thorin among them. A couple more relatives—someone named Dwalin, an Óin, and a few more people whose names he didn't recognize—had liked the post. Thorin had commented, his entire message containing only five question marks. Kíli didn't blame him—he, too, felt like _? ? ? ? ?_

He quickly drafted his own message, his face flushed very red. He was glad no one else was in the room to see this.

 _um...balin...thanks but i'm not actually married...that was my friend tauriel and her daughter, i was just going to the store with her. we're not even dating._

He clicked "reply" and rubbed his forehead with his left hand. God...what if Tauriel had seen this?

There was a knock at his door. He sat up straight very suddenly, horrified for a moment that it was Tauriel. Then he heard Fíli's laugh outside and relaxed. He got up and answered the door.

Fíli was grinning, holding up his phone to show Kíli the post Balin had made.

"Yeah, I know, I saw," he grumbled, flushing red again.

Fíli clapped him on the shoulder in a brotherly fashion, laughing. "Of _course_. You two would be _great_ parents."

Kíli buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe Balin thought that..."

"Are you going to tell her?" Fíli said, grinning.

"Oh my God, you've got to be kidding me, Fíli," Kíli exclaimed. "Of course I'm not going to tell her! I have a _crush_ on her, I would never—"

Fíli shrugged. "I don't know, it could be the start of a great relationship, or something."

Kíli shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you."

"Hey, I'm aro, bro," Fíli said with a shrug. "I'm not the best person to go to for relationship advice."

"Nah, you are, though," Kíli said, letting out a short little laugh. "You don't have your own romantic issues clouding your judgement."

"Well, that's one way of looking at it." Fíli smirked at him. "Why can't you just like...tell her you like her?"

"You don't get it." Kíli sighed. Tauriel's smiling face appeared in his mind. He remembered one day, she had invited him to come to the park with her and Ria. He'd been playing with the little girl, chasing her around and tickling her when he caught up to her. Ria laughed and laughed, and Kíli had glanced over to where Tauriel was watching, her smile fond and loving. He wasn't sure if she was looking at him or at Ria, or at them both, but just remembering that look sent shivers down his spine. "I can't just tell her, what if...she doesn't like me the same way and I ruin everything?" He didn't want the friendship they had to go away, he valued it too much to risk confessing his feelings.

Fíli just looked at him, a bemused smile sitting on his face. "Okay, bro, whatever makes you happy. But you know, you'll never know if she likes you like that if you don't ask."

Kíli sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So are you going to tell her or not?" Fíli asked.

Kíli shook his head. "Nah. I mean...maybe."

His brother winked at him. "Okay then. Tell me how it goes." He walked across the hall to his own apartment.

"Definitely not!" Kíli called after him.

"Whatever you say, Kí!"

Kíli stuck out his tongue at his brother's retreating back, then closed the door. He flopped back down on the couch and saw that Balin had responded.

 _oh...really? That's quite a shame then, she seemed like a lovely gal. you have a good friend there!_

Yeah...yeah. A good friend. Kíli buried his face in his hands. He would love it if Balin had been right, if everything was like that—but, well, it wasn't. And it never would be. Probably. Tauriel was a friend, a good friend, but not his girlfriend. And definitely not his wife.

 _Are you going to tell her? ... It could be the start of a great relationship, or something._ Fíli's words echoed in his mind. Like he actually would, though. There's no way Kíli would actually admit his crush to Tauriel. She wouldn't be interested in him, anyway. No way.

 _You'll never know if she likes you like that if you don't ask._

Suddenly caught up in a wind of bravery, Kíli picked up his phone and rashly dialed Tauriel's number.

"What am I _doing_?" he muttered to himself as the phone rang.

After a few moments, she picked up.

"Hey, Kili," she said.

"Hi, Tauriel," he said, his voice trembling for no reason. Well, actually, for a very good reason. His brain had gone into panic mode, and for some reason couldn't control anything he was saying. "Hey, I have a funny story for you!" What was he even saying? It certainly wasn't funny, it wasn't cute—he was so _awkward_...

"I'm all ears," she said. "I just put Ria to bed, actually."

"Oh wow, it's that late?" he said, glancing at the clock. It was 8:00. "Huh, I was on the computer longer than I thought I was!"

Tauriel laughed. Kíli's heart beat faster. She had thought that was funny! He guessed it kind of was—or maybe not—maybe—

"Come on, what's your story, Kíli?" Tauriel asked.

"Oh, yeah, the story!" he exclaimed. "Okay, so today at the store, remember that old guy I was talking to after I went to get the mangos with Ria?"

"Yeah."

"That's Balin, some kind of distant relative, a third or fourth cousin or something. I hadn't seen him in years, like the last time we talked was at a family reunion right after I graduated high school, so he has actually no idea what I've been doing with my life since then. So I talk to him, it's kind of awkward, we part ways, I think nothing else of it. You with me?"

"I can see it now," Tauriel said, her voice full of amused sarcasm. Kíli blushed on the other end of the line. She was so _cute_.

"So I come home, and I look on Facebook, and what do I find?"

"I don't know, what do you find?"

Kíli paused for dramatic effect. "I find...that Balin has posted that he saw me at the grocery store with my beautiful wife and child, and how proud he is that I'm grown up and responsible." He stopped breathing for a moment while he waited for Tauriel to react. If she was offended—or so amused by the thought that anyone could mistake them for a couple, because they obviously weren't and she didn't like him romantically they were friends not lovers—

She burst into laughter on the other end of the line. "Oh my God," she said through laughs, "that's great. That's hilarious. Oh my God, Kíli, did he really?"

Kíli laughed along with her. "Yeah, he did. I can't believe he actually posted it—he's staying with my uncle Thorin, why didn't he just ask him if I was married or not?"

"I don't know." Tauriel laughed some more. "Oh man, that's hilarious."

"I set him straight, of course," Kíli said. What would she think of that?

"It's probably for the best," Tauriel agreed. "But it would have been funny if he'd gone on thinking that!"

"Yeah, I guess so," Kíli said. She was right—it would have been amusing to pull a prank like that.

There was a bit of an awkward silence. How did he end this conversation—or continue it? Did he dare? _I like you, Tauriel, like a lot,_ he thought, and he imagined her beaming on the other end of the line at this confession and saying _Yeah, me too, actually. Maybe Balin was right!_ But the other part of him heard her pause awkwardly and say—breaking it to him gently, of course, as she was too good and kind to be harsh— _Oh, I'm sorry Kíli, but..._

"Hey Tauriel," he began, his heart pounding. Was he really doing this? Was he really?

"Yeah?" Tauriel said.

 _You'll never know if she likes you like that if you don't ask._

He took a deep breath. "It's kind of funny that this happened, though. That he mistook us for a couple."

"Um...yeah?" Tauriel was confused, and Kíli was too. He was going about this all wrong, he should stop now, he should—

"You know, um...I really enjoy hanging out with you. A lot. And with Ria, she's my favorite six-year-old."

"I like hanging out with you, too, Kíli," Tauriel said softly. "You're so kind to Ria, and she really needs fa—people in her life like you."

His heart skipped a beat. Had she just almost...called him a father figure? No, there's no way—

"Aw. Thanks." He paused and swallowed. "But, like...um. I really like you. A lot."

"I like you a lot too." Tauriel sounded almost as awkward and embarrassed as he felt. If he'd been blushing a lot earlier, it was nothing compared to now.

"Like. Um. I may or may not have a crush on you." There it was, all out in the open now. He felt like a freshman in high school again, trying to tell his sophomore crush how he felt. He sure hoped it didn't go the same way this time.

"Oh!" Tauriel sounded surprised. Had she not...did she not...? "I mean...Kíli, I..."

"I'm sorry," he said very quickly. "I shouldn't have said—God, why did I think this was a good idea—I should just—"

"No, no!" she cut him off. "No, not like that! I just mean...I like you a lot too. I think I have a crush on you, too."

Kíli let out a little yelp. "You do?" He could feel his heart jump and his brain fizz out of order—not like it had really been working properly before.

"Yeah." He could hear her smiling through the phone. "Silly, isn't it?"

"Not if we _both_ like each other!" he reasoned.

She laughed. "What are the odds?"

"I don't know. Fíli might, he has a clinically detached interest in this sort of thing." Kíli was grinning wider than he ever had before in his life. "So you like me, and I like you? Isn't that usually how relationships start?"

"At least in the stories, they do," she said with a little giggle. She was so cute, and so funny, and so—just— _wonderful_. He was so lucky. "That's not how it worked with me and Legolas. I don't know how we ever ended up married, our affection for each other was totally platonic. There was absolutely no romance at all, not even at our wedding."

"I'd love to shower you in romance, if that's what you'd like," Kíli found himself saying.

"I would be honored," she said. "You should see me right now, I'm grinning like a maniac."

"Me too," Kíli said. "I feel like a teenager again."

"This is ridiculous," Tauriel said. "We should go out sometime. Without Ria, just the two of us."

"I bet Fíli could babysit," Kíli said. "He's been bugging me about this crush for so long, he'd be happy to see something come of it."

Tauriel laughed. "Sounds like we've got a plan. How does tomorrow night sound?"

"Where to?" he asked.

"Do you like mini golf? I know it's not super sophisticated, but since we're both acting like kids about this—"

"I love mini golf." Kíli laughed. "Wow. An actual date with you. I can't believe it—me from an hour ago would never have guessed."

"I feel like we've been dating for a while now," Tauriel said, affection in her voice. "We go out together all the time."

"With Ria, too," he pointed out. "But I guess she's part of our little family."

"Our little family? Sounds like you've got plans," Tauriel teased.

"I didn't mean—" he began, horrified.

"Maybe Balin was thinking along the right lines, if just a few years too early," she said slyly.

He laughed. "So are we really dating now?"

"I guess so," she said, "I wanna be if you wanna be."

"I do," he said. "Man. This is so great. I can't believe this. I think I might be a little bit in love with you, Tauriel."

"That's good, because I think I might want to kiss you when I see you tomorrow," she said.

"I wish I could kiss you right now. Too bad we're on the phone and not in person." He laughed. "Though I don't know if I would have had the courage to tell you in person."

"Ria will be so happy," Tauriel said. "She keeps asking why we aren't holding hands like the couples she sees on TV. I had to tell her not to mention that in front of you."

Kíli opened his mouth in shock. "Did she really?"

"She was my sole confidant of my feelings," Tauriel admitted. "Though she's only six, I don't think she quite understood it."

"Fíli will laugh at me for days," Kíli said. "He'll be pleased, though, that I'm not complaining how beautiful you are and how kind and how much I wish I could just kiss you. He's sick of hearing me complain about my crush."

"You should go tell him, then," she said. "Not that I want to stop talking to you. But my food's been sitting in the microwave for this conversation and I don't want to have to heat it up again."

"Yeah. Tell Ria I love her when she wakes up." Kíli beamed. "And I love _you_ , too, Tauriel."

"Love you too, sweetie," she said. "Bye."

"Bye." Kíli hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. Then he rolled over on the couch and screamed into a pillow cushion, happier than his wildest dreams.

He sat up suddenly. "I've got to tell Fíli." He ran over to the door and flung it open. In moments, he was knocking on his brother's door.

Fíli took his sweet time answering, and his eyebrows were raised when he saw Kíli's joyous expression. "So—how'd it go?"

Kíli didn't answer with words, but instead hugged his brother tightly and let out an indecipherable shriek of joy.

Fíli laughed, staggering backward under the weight of his enthusiasm. He patted his brother on the back. "So I presume it went well?"

"Thank you thank you thank you for telling me to just go for it!" Kíli exclaimed, letting go of his brother and dancing around Fíli's apartment.

"Don't trip on anything, this place is a mess," Fíli warned.

Kíli stopped spinning and turned to face him, beaming. "So—yeah. I told her the story about Balin, then I said I liked her, and she said she liked me, and we're going on a date tomorrow night, by the way I told her you could babysit, and we're dating and Fíli I think I'm love!"

Fíli laughed. "I'm proud of you, bro. You two will be a great couple, I—wait, you told her I could what?"

"Babysit Ria while we're on our date," Kíli said.

Fíli paused. "Kíli, I'm terrible with children."

"You'll be fine," Kíli assured. "Come on—don't make me cancel on her!"

He sighed. "Alright, I'll babysit, but _only_ because I'm glad you'll finally shut up about how you wish you could kiss her. Now you actually _can_."

"Thanks, Fíli!" Kíli exclaimed. He hugged him again. "You're the best brother ever! I love you!"

"I love you, too, bro," Fíli said, amused. "And congratulations. Seems like Balin was thinking along the right lines after all."


End file.
